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Week 1, Saturday, Post-Trial; Serph
[ ... It's not too early to sleep, but after everything that's happened, even Fie's well-aware that sleep is not going to come easily. After everything she's seen for herself, being one of the few who had actually witnessed the precise moment where everything had gone downhill and knowing what would come and knowing now what will come...
Fie walks, with a stride a little more confident than her usual sleepy amble. She does tense a little, spotting someone on the beach gazing out at the ocean, but upon recognition... she simply steps up silently beside him.
Serph probably won't mind, she thinks, but she's prepared to keep walking if he does. ]
Fie walks, with a stride a little more confident than her usual sleepy amble. She does tense a little, spotting someone on the beach gazing out at the ocean, but upon recognition... she simply steps up silently beside him.
Serph probably won't mind, she thinks, but she's prepared to keep walking if he does. ]
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Plenty of time for things to go (further) to hell. Plenty of time for them to get lost in thoughts of what might still be coming.
Honestly, he's not really sure which is worse. ]
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But here she is again. ]
... I'm not a hero. [ It's a very quiet murmur. But Fie's always known that. She'd helped people before, and she thinks she might like helping people more than just ignoring them, but this kind of help doesn't seem like help at all. And...
Why would they have wanted her to be one of a few people to try and save everyone? ]
if this tag makes no sense be assured that my canon doesn't either
[ Serph's never tried to be, anyway. He's only ever fought to survive and to keep his comrades alive, and somehow that just...ballooned into saving the world. Because it would save them too, because it went against the people responsible for the hell they'd walked out of, because Sera wanted to make things right.
Because somewhere, along the way, the people he counted as comrades started to extend beyond the Embryon.
He wouldn't call himself a hero, but when it comes down to it, he doesn't have any regrets about the fights he chose in his own world. He did what he felt was right, and he gave it everything he had.
Was it enough? Who knew. ]
Be yourself.
[ It probably sounds a little trite, or would coming from most people. But it's not an overused platitude to Serph, who'd finally broken free from being defined by the soul of a man who barely had one and the perceptions of a child trying to recreate someone she loved. He isn't Sheffield, willing to sacrifice anyone and anything for his own gain. He isn't the first Serph that Sera programmed, pleasant and reliable and empty.
He decided who he was going to be, and that's all he needs to be. ]
smt stands for so much trouble
But when she thinks about it, the boss had said that too, when she'd still been trying to figure out if she had a place among Zephyr's members. And Rean and Laura had more or less said it, even if the latter had taken a fight in a public park to understand. So it's not as though she thinks Serph is offering this advice just to try and sound motivational and with no real thought behind it.
She's already learned by now, he's someone who doesn't say what he thinks isn't necessary. ]
I'm not so sure being myself is going to help anyone.
[ She's hardly a Nino or a Katara or a protagonist. ]
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[ It sounds to him as if it does - and if it does, that's all the argument he needs to believe that being herself will help someone. Maybe not everyone, but the rules of the game are written to make helping everyone impossible.
They can cut the losses, but they can't eliminate them completely.
If that bothers them, at least they're doing something right. ]
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[ She'll admit it, and for once, Fie actually looks uncertain and vulnerable. ]
I'll do what I have to, and I can shove everything down to get the job done, but I... I never wanted to be this brutal. I don't want to disappoint my family.
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I won't say that anyone else will understand.
[ Because he's pretty sure you can't really understand this situation without being in the middle of it. Without seeing a mutilated corpse and a person killed just to present an example, without seeing a young girl take a knife to the eye because she didn't want to hurt anyone. It's not the kind of thing you expect anyone to really get, if they weren't there.
But. ]
But that doesn't mean no one will forgive it.
[ Her family? He doesn't know them, and while he thinks family is supposed to forgive that kind of thing, he hasn't exactly had the most positive real world examples to work with. Angel and Sera are...pretty dysfunctional.
He's not going to try to put words in the mouths of people he's never met, but he does know that there are people who won't judge you for violence you can't help committing - they're rare, or at least he'd thought so, but he could name a few on this island alone...so who knows? ]
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It really isn't a group she would have picked.
But at the same time, she's grateful that she doesn't have to go through this alone. ]
... Thanks. [ He probably knows she's grateful, through her actions, but all the same... Fie feels like she should say it this time. He's right, in that the others probably won't be able to fully understand, and knowing what she'd had to do here might hurt them... but Class VII had an unbreakable bond. They forgave and fought for each other, and she knows she'd do anything to get back and see them again. ]
I'll be okay. I'll... do my duty here, too.
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We're all here to help each other.
[ Whether that's with moving the bodies, making them, or just having someone to commiserate with after the fact. ]
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... We'll have to find a way to make sure you don't starve, too.
[ if it comes to having him eat one of their kills, or at least part of one... or trying to find a way to eat them after they've been discovered, or if she has to chop off a finger or something-- Serph needs to stay alive. ]
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Serph would rather not eat anyone who hasn't tried to kill him first, but that's a luxury he never expected not to have. Suddenly, he's low on enemies, and that makes living more difficult as much as it makes it easier.
But the details on that will keep for now, until the next time they talk strategy. This...doesn't feel like the moment. ]
Thank you.
[ Honestly, he expected himself to be one of the first ones on the chopping block, simply because of what he is. Yet nobody at the trial...had even suggested it. ]
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[ Beyond the bleeding hearts, but there are some things they can't tell the others. ]
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It will only grow worse as our numbers diminish, I'm sure.
[ Early on, there are more potential targets, and it's easier to be united in their hatred for Hal, but as things go on? Every death will be more reason to be paranoid of everyone else and fewer reasons for people to trust and look after each other.
If they don't have each others' backs, what hope do they have? ]
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[ ... geez. What a job they've been saddled with, and Fie speaks with no sense of burning resolution, just weariness. ]
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Kill horribly to save the few, or keep their hands clean and watch everyone die.
No pressure. ]